SPORTS NEWS
by our Rugby Correspondent, "Old Prop"
At a packed public meeting yesterday, Redruth RFC unveiled the design of their exciting new stadium, which is to be built on the slopes of Carn Brea hill. The picture above shows an artist's impression of what the new stadium will look like.
It will be known as the "Trevaskis Stadium", after Long Rock multi-billionaire W.G. Trevaskis, who has donated most of the funding.
However, there was strong opposition to the plans from the four members of the public present, who claimed that the new structure would be an "eyesore" and totally out of keeping with the wild beauty of the hill.
In response, Redruth's Director of Rugby, Denzil Penberthy, claimed that the move to the new stadium was "essential, if us is gonna play in the English Premiership. The Rec. [the Reds' old ground] ain't up to Premiership standards, so us don' 'ave no choice."
The rugby correspondent of the Daily Telegraph, one of many reporters present from the national press, expressed surprise at the slope of the pitch. (There will be a 20-metre drop between the south-east and north-west corners of the pitch.) Mr Penberthy explained that this was quite deliberate. The layout of the pitch, he said, sought to recreate the conditions of the famed "Hell Fire Corner" at the Rec. [The ground slopes away quite markedly towards one corner at the Rec. Ed.]
"Us duh like tuh play down the slope, towards our supporters in 'ell Fire," said Mr Penberthy. "Us jes' thought we'd make 'un a bit steeper, 'as all."
The man from the Telegraph, not to be denied, pointed out that for one half of each game the Reds would have to play uphill, and the advantage would then lie with their opponents.
"'Es, well", said Mr Penberthy, "us'll jes 'ave tuh dig in. 'Sides, us duh 'ave another plan. We's gonta leave some o' they bleddy git granite boulders on the pitch, jes under the grass. 'Course, only us'll knaw where the buggers are. They git Londun jessies'll be bleddy black an' blue by 'alf time!"
RELUBBUS TOP TEN May 2008
- Old Shep Elvis Presley
- Brown-eyed 'Ansom Man Buddy Holly
- Only the Lonely Roy Orbison
- You Never Can Tell Chuck Berry
- Waterloo Abba
- Pretty Flamingo Manfred Mann
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Beatles
- This Is My Song Petula Clarke
- A Whiter Shade of Pale Procul Harum
- San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair) Scott MCKenzie
Nice one Steve
ReplyDeleteWhen the losing team leave the pitch at the end of the game, will they slope off? Will the winning team be on a high?
ReplyDeleteYour top 10 choice shows your age. I pretty much agree with nine of the ten.....well the tenth is just not my song.