Nyns eus goon heb lagas, na ke heb scovarn

There is no down without an eye, nor hedge without an ear



Customer car is parked outside our store (shown left) and things inside are busy, busy!!

Machine-knitted cardigan – white ribbed with ruffled edges – size 22 – only 11 years old – three arms. Would make lovely Christmas present for beloved with three arms! £45

Home-made Sou’Wester crafted 14 years ago by donor’s Granpa from simulated lino – needs new cords, but still keeps rain off. Only £1.29

Butane-powered toothbrush with stainless steel brushes – failed prototype, so only £3.75

For those special occasions! Set of Ceramic teeth – startling white for that Hollywood look. (Must be taken out before eating!!) Get that film star look for only £215

Light pea-green sock – size 11 – once one of a pair, so big reduction – only £1.09

Half of a trombone – original blue leather case intact – bargain at just £75

Shopping Trolley - runs well – Morrison’s sign removed. Could also, with enough cushions, be used as pram. £49

Folding Yellow and Purple camping table suitable for breakfast for one. Two legs missing, so only 31 pence!

Nest of three tables – bevelled glass tops with mahogany-effect surrounds – only slightly fire-damaged – £97

Wooden lavatory seat – splits can probably be planed out, making as new - £47.50

Gas-powered Grundig black and white television set, sometimes capable of receiving BBC1 and Channel 4. Full set of controls includes dials for volume and vertical and horizontal hold, allowing easy adjustability. Comes with previous owner’s home-designed extending arm for easy adjustment from your armchair!! £754

Kenwood Chef 1b foodmixer – hand-operated - delicate mechanism – suit woman or gay man, only £9

Ladies (size 18) full length coat in black rubber with bright orange ‘fur’ collar - £246

Madame Carla Sarkozy shown here on the left coming out of the store having made a purchase of Edna Angove's Lingerie.

Fallen tree – lots of good wood in it – not in shop - must be collected from site - at night – silently - £87

Genuine antique Parisian pissoir – originally copper green – now needs a good lick of paint, but in perfect working order - £595

Whole lorry load of Albanian Christmas sweets – with instructions – in 10 kilo tins – handling gloves supplied – only £1.50 a tin – Go on, spoil the kiddies!!

Only Licensed Outlet for Edna Angove’s made-to-measure hand-knitted lingerie for her and for him. Come in store to view options available and to make your appointment with the legendary wizard-knitter of Colinsey Road. Sample prices - Lady’s Brazier and Knickers £175; Gentleman’s pouch £165

Collection of 20 Sudoku books – vastly reduced as already filled in - £1.75 the lot!

Record Player plus 7 LP records of the unforgettable Hymie Slibowitz playing Calypso on the Jew’s Harp £235

Kiddies’ trike in Bob the Builder motif – works perfectly, but no chain £19

Pinky n’ Perky Pogo stick (yes, almost a collector’s item!!). Handle broken off, so only £150

Ukrainian ‘I speak your weight’ machine - in perfect working order - £39

Barbie Princess Dress – suitable for 5-6 year olds – expertly mended and now, after a wash, almost good as new so £12

Stainless steel sink with cold tap (needs new washer) – a mere snip at £5 in view of strange stains and odd smell that won’t go away.

This is just a sample of what we have for you in store at SECONDS AWAY!!

For the first five customers tomorrow, there will be a FREE one ounce bag of sawdust!!