Nyns eus goon heb lagas, na ke heb scovarn

There is no down without an eye, nor hedge without an ear


Jan "Big Boots" Knuckey, the legendary Cornish miner and wrassler, has been banned by Facebook. On returning to the UK after visiting Celtic cousins in Brittany, Jan found that he was no longer able to log in to Facebook, because his user ID had been revoked.
Jan Knuckey, by Damien Hirst (reproduced by permission of MOMA, NY)

The reasons for Jan's ban are unclear. It seems likely that someone objected to one of his posts, but he is none the wiser because Facebook won't divulge any information -- neither (perhaps understandably) the identity of the objector, nor even the post that was objected to. No warning was given.

Jan has long been a friend of the Roundup, and we suspect that his offending post might have been one that pointed to one of our complimentary articles about English Heritage.

Be warned: apparently anyone can be banned by Facebook, without warning or explanation, if one nameless person complains. This system seems to us to be akin to the "bocca di leone" ("lion's mouth") letter box provided by the government of medieval Venice, so that its citizens could secretly denounce one another.

However, the Knuckeys are made of stern stuff, and will not be browbeaten in this way. Already, Jan's sister Janis has taken up the cudgels on his behalf, and has set up her own Facebook account.


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Take a peek!
This roomy 5ft 6 in by 6ft (!) super kitchen has a door opening out onto the very latest in kitchen appliances, the combined washer-ringer. It could all be yours – for just £21,300 (plus fitting and VAT).

All of the fitments are nearly new and have been especially cleaned so that they will sparkle at you - and at your friends.

Please note that to have the door painted to the standard shown in this photograph will naturally cost an additional £195.99.

Or, if you really want to see what envy looks like – up close on the faces of your friends – then knock them out with this futuristic kitchen, which can be yours for as little as £42,595 (plus fitting and VAT).

If you also take the optional built-on lean-to toilet, it will cost, of course, a further £6,500 (and an additional £1,500 if you want the toilet plumbed in). The flooring is manufactured from pure 100% plastic "Treneere" lino, while all of the kitchen furniture has been pieced together – lovingly, by hand, from materials occurring naturally in Cornwall*).

But maybe your requirements are more modest. You could be perfectly happy with your current kitchen, and just need the perfect appliance to "set everything off".

Relubbus Kitchens can help you with this as well!

Kitchen storage couldn’t be easier with our (almost) brand new kitchen storage cabinet. Each one is cleaned up especially for you before delivery and care is taken to remove almost every trace of the previous owner’s dirt, rat poison, or food choices. It is our proud boast that only two people have died in the last year from poisoning contracted from the use of our cabinets. The pictured cabinet could be yours for as little as £1,978.99 (plus delivery and VAT).

Alternatively, you might want (and who can blame you?!) to make your friends jealous with the sight of this "must have" cooker. Is it a gas cooker? Is it an electric cooker? No, all of that is old hat! It is the very latest in environmentally-friendly cow pat cooking: all you have got to do is find the cow pats!

You may well be tempted by what you have seen, but may not be sure you can afford our reasonable prices. Have no fear!! Finance is available – at a very reasonable cost – from Moshe Trelowarren-Finkovitch Already Yet Still Limited of Sancreed. Loans for up to one year at a daily compound interest rate of only 42%!!

* the substance used can be freely found on Cornish dairy and beef farms.