Nyns eus goon heb lagas, na ke heb scovarn

There is no down without an eye, nor hedge without an ear


The Roundup is keen to shine its potent torch of publicity on the many young entrepreneurs who call Relubbus home.  This week we are looking at some of the brightest and best of them.

Pammie Pender (47) is a photographer whose career first started out on the other side of the lens in the days when she was a 'glamour model'. For twenty years from the tender age of 16, Pammie graced the centrefold spread of famous 'top shelf' publications such as Sancreed Plumbing, Tregavarah Gardening WeeklyNewbridge Knitting and Crochet, Gulval Gas Fittings and Winwaloe Window Cleaning

However, gravity gradually took its toll and the commissions started to dry up.  That is when inspiration came to Pammie and she decided to put all her accumulated knowledge of photography into practice - on the other side of the lens.

Her consummate skill is perfectly illustrated in this photograph entitled Timing, which sold last week in the renowned Spargo Auction Rooms for £2,500,000.  Pammie insists that the difference between a good photo and a brilliant one is simply a matter of timing.  One must capture the moment.

In this family shot of the Trevaskises of Lelant (relatives of the fabulously wealthy Relubbus business dynamo W G Trevaskis), the drama is created by the figure of Dick Trevaskis, front left, whose face so clearly betrays the fact that Pammie has managed to fully capture a moment which he would have preferred to remain uncaptured. 

Of course, the involuntary release into his trousers is accompanied by the most frightful odour, but, as the picture clearly shows, this hasn't reached the noses of the others yet.  As Pammie says " 'S all a madderuv timin'!"

You will all have heard of Warren Buffet, but just how many of you have heard of Buffet Warren (29) from up Tregeseal?  He is certainly shaping up quickly to provide stiff competition for the famed American investor.  BMW (as he likes to be known, since his middle name is Madron) set up his hedge fund, Cot Valley Investments, two years ago.  "I duh call it a 'edge fund, cos we got th' edge on they other buggers!"

Cot Valley Investments has so far attracted funds totalling £750,000. These funds all come from the various residents of the Setting Sun old folks home, where BMW continues to work until he manages to register some profits from his investments.   As he cheefully admits, "You wooden bleeve 'ow much money we lost, but, lookin' on the bright side, leasisnot my own money goin' down the drain!"

Nora "Lightning" Behenna (34) is set to turn the world of surgery upside down for three reasons.  Firstly, she charges very little for the often complex operations she performs.  Secondly, she uses no anaesthetics at all.  Thirdly, her only medical instrument is her fretsaw.

What readers will also find amazing is that Nora is a young lady without any formal medical training whatsoever.  Entirely self-taught, she started off by practising exclusively on neighbours' household pets.

Then, after she found out that her boyfriend had been two-timing her, she performed her very first 'radical vasectomy' on him.  This picture was taken of her just after the operation and shows her gleefully holding her fretsaw and triumphantly displaying the freshly severed 'parts' in a plastic bag.

Her secret?  "Speed - thasall there is to un!  I'm finished before they duh knaw I started!"