Nyns eus goon heb lagas, na ke heb scovarn

There is no down without an eye, nor hedge without an ear


Professor Ivor Codpiece (99), Professor of Publishing at the Relubbus Insititute of Publishing and Opprobrious Fescennine Fanfaronades (RIPOFF) has been conducting a survey of the thousands of magazines and publications available throughout Cornwall.

We asked the good professor to take time out of his busy schedule and write a review of the very best. He began his exposition with the wholly predictable observation that the Relubbus Roundup itself was an organ of international significance and renown and therefore beyond the scope of a purely Cornish review.

He praised the
Roundup’s incisive grasp of all the significant threads of political, cultural and philosophical import and stated that no other publication in the world could compare with it.

Then, prising himself from the clinging clutches of his adoring assistant, Tamsin Opie (25), the great man condescended to opine on two exemplary Cornish publications in his Cornish Publishing Review.

The first publication he singled out for unstinting praise was a magazine called Cornish World. He dismissed all competing magazines (there are some 1,900) as being tawdry vehicles for Estate Agents’ drivel dreamed up to ensnare the fickle attentions of the wealthy English visitor.

In contrast, Cornish World seemed aimed at the Cornishman in Cornwall. Further, it concerned itself with real live Cornish issues. The good professor confessed that he and Tamsin had spent many a happy hour entangled in contemplation of its pages and further suggested that it become required reading for everyone in Cornwall above the age of two and a half years.

He then dictated a note to young
Tamsin instructing master Pengelly to increase his print run accordingly and make arrangements for delivery to all Cornish houses.

The second publication to win the praise of the great Professor is, of course, none other than The Cornishman itself. This is the newspaper everyone else tries to emulate. Well-known Australian dingo-jumper Murdoch has been itching to get his hands on this grand organ, but even his great riches are insufficient to land him this bejewelled crown of the newspaper world.

The good professor spoke at great length about the numerous highlights, which overwhelm the reader from start to finish, concluding that the
Obituaries were pure liquid poetry.

At this point the good Professor began to dribble badly and Tamsin, appearing now in comely Nurse’s outfit and wearing 'naughty blonde' wig, insisted on terminating the interview and taking the Professor back to the treatment room.


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