Nyns eus goon heb lagas, na ke heb scovarn

There is no down without an eye, nor hedge without an ear


By our Poetry Correspondent, Alice Chirgwin-Jacka

(the "dg" is pronounced as in "stodge") Semmens (73), the restless Penzance poet of Colinsey Road, Treneere, has recently received the honour of coming twelfth in the Perrananworthal Horticultural Society's poetry competition. (The other 8 contestants were all younger than him.)

His entry was a reflective work taking the theme of his Penzance childhood. Written in, unusually for him, standard English, this work is entitled Cornish Boy's Childhood.

Cornish Boy's Childhood

As a lad, I played in hedgerows and smelt the earth and green,
And felt a strange excitement as Linda became my queen.
A kid's small world to him is vast and time it has no end --
Events just string together in childhood's journey without end.

Penzance it was my universe -- the world that I could see,
There was no place beyond it that could mean as much to me.
For all those in the world I loved could be seen within a walk,
And the comfort warm of Cornish chat could be heard within their talk.

Family day out in Trevaylor beneath those trees so tall,
With hide and seek, then sandwiches and laughing fun for all.
I have so many images of now distant boyhood years:
It is a world lit up with love, in which there were no fears.

I wish that every child could know the warmth of a loving nest.
When small, I knew just my Cornish home -- for me it was the best.
A Penwith boy, of Cornish blood, I grew on Cornish scenes;
And feel the love of that sweet place abundant in my genes.


You too can own one of the famous CHRISTIAN RECORD hits -- specially recorded for you by the leading lights of the Paul Methodist Church Choir, Ladislaus and Smegma Tregudgeon-Louvin, who sing for you their greatest hit...

"Satan is real!"

Marshall James's Music of Market Jew Street, Penzance is the big financial backer behind these two boys from Paul, who hope to make it big in the music world.

Already, their Enty Dorothy has promised to buy three copies of their record and they are hoping for more purchases soon. There is even talk of a 'grand tour' as far as the Lizard.

If you want to get in early on the success of these two West Cornish boys singing for Jesus (even if the title song is about Satan), then do just like their Enty Dorothy and buy three copies of the record at 14s and 6d each - available now at Marshall James's of Penzance!!!


The Roundup provides a 'roundup' of people who have been making the big news in West Penwith!
Voluptuous Brenda Rosewarne (27) from Tregeseal, St Just, is not just a go-ahead executive in charge of sheet music for Marshall James' Music in Market Jew Street, Penzance!

In her spare time, she is active in four different sports. Last week she came 8th in the Tregeseal Methodist Church Egg and Spoon Race.

The week before, she managed to secure 3rd place in the Pendeen Open Cross Country 5 mile Hopping (left leg only) race.

Last month, she scooped second prize in the Tremethick Cross Magnifying Glass Ant-frying Speed Contest (frying 356 ants in just 30 minues!).

Yesterday, she topped all her other achievements by coming first in the Sancreed Sack Race (It differs from other such races in that the sack is worn over the head and thus, once one has been spun round the regulation 36 times to achieve disorientation, one has precious little chance of going in the right direction, quite apart from covering the 220 yards in the required 8 minutes). Breathless Brenda was over the moon with her performance, saying "I am over the moon!"

Hankie Penhaligon (41), on his organ on the left, and Ben Dover (39), fully engaged with his instrument on the right, are kitchen fitters by day, but sing proudly for God in the evenings.

The two boys founded the group "Cornish Voices for Jesus" years ago at Mousehole Methodist Youth Club. Now their runaway success with their last hit, "Satan's feet don't smell too good!", has won them the support of the Christian Records Label and bookings from Heamoor to St Buryan.

Mecca Bingo caller, Dougie Botterell (76) has been let off without a caution for "pestering" young innocent Penny Treglown (21). The couple are pictured here together last month at the Mecca Bingo in Penzance, when Dougie called her up for the twentieth time for a special prize.

Penny complained, "the dirty old bugger was jes lookin' down my cleavage". The magistrate, Mr Tommy Botterell (no relation) said, "No one can blame my cousin for wanting to have a look. Have you seen the size of them? She ought to carry a health warning!"

Prospidnick Stage Hypnotist Jacko Clemo (52) has been in the news recently for all the wrong reasons. He originally achieved fame by hypnotising rabbits and getting them to recite medieval poetry and perform other un-rabbit-like acts. He is believed to have achieved the peak of his career some years back, when he hypnotised some grass snakes into thinking they were birds and actually got them to fly!

Now, alas, how the mighty have fallen! He was arrested last week for preying upon the residents of the Gwithian Home for Retired Gentlewomen, having hypnotised them (none of them are younger than 97) into believing that they were the 25 year old inhabitants of a house of ill repute and that he was the sole gentleman they had to entertain.

Gay Cornwall was over the moon at the celebrity marriage in Camborne of Mebyon Kernow Gay Rights Campaigner, Aloysius Landshark (45), "with all the gay gear" on the left, to his chosen partner Ben Dover (28), an unemployed brick-layer from Falmouth.

The happy couple were said to be overjoyed that so many representatives of the Devon & Cornwall Police (Gay division) had turned out to be supportive and perform their synchronised baton-waving routine.

The happy couple will honeymoon at Long Rock for 7 weeks and will then be moving into a caravan near Sennen to begin married life together, with their budgie, "Harold", who is not gay.