GIANT WIND FARM FOR HELFORD

By Technology Correspondent Jon Quick

The picture shows an artist's impression of the first stage of the giant wind farm that is to be built in the shallow waters of Helford creek, adjacent to the village of Helford, on the Lizard peninsula.

Initially, there will be only two turbines (each 400 feet tall), but eventually there are expected to be some two hundred.

A spokeswoman for the new Cornwall Unitary Authority said that the site was "ideal".

In most areas, she said, locals objected strongly to the intrusive nature of the colossal structures on the landscape. However, because Helford village consisted almost entirely of second homes, it remained unoccupied for most of the year, and therefore she anticipated that there would be few objections.

"How can people object to their view being spoilt if they're not there to see it in the first place?" she asked.

Jon Quick is the Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin.

NEW ENGLISH HERITAGE FLAG FOR CORNWALL

By Cultural and Dublin Correspondent Dean Swift

At a press conference at its South West headquarters in Bristol yesterday, English Heritage proudly unveiled the new logo and flag to be used at its sites throughout Cornwall.

Press Officer Ms Zara Windsor was at pains to point out that the new logo and flag would be used only at EH's Cornish sites. They were, she said, emblematic of the special relationship that EH has with Cornwall and the Cornish people.

The new logo, shown on the left, is designed to reflect the prime aims of English Heritage in Cornwall, as set out by government statute. These are:

• To contribute to the Anglicanisation of Cornwall
• To reinforce the achievements of the educational syllabus in denying Cornish children a knowledge of their history
  
• To demonstrate the ignorance and petty imperialism of London-based English politicians
• By suggesting that English history and Cornish history are synonymous, to disguise the colonization of Cornwall, the historical massacres of Cornish civilians, and the suppression of the Cornish language
  
• To airbrush the Cornish out of history
  

Ms Windsor said that the new logo, combining a schematic representation of the red-and-white English flag with the traditional symbol of racial superiority, perfectly encapsulated what English Heritage sought to achieve in Cornwall.

The picture below shows the new flag being flown at Chysauster Iron Age village, which was occupied by Celtic people between about 100 B.C. and 300 A.D.

The new English Heritage flag flying at Chysauster

Editorial, by THE THUNDERER

Spot on, EH!
Editor Sylvanus Penhaul applauds English Heritage's frankness

The new English Heritage logo (solely for use in Cornwall) is a masterpiece of early 21st century design, effortlessly portraying at a glance EH's true remit for Cornwall.

Cornish folk have long complained of their Celtic and pre-Celtic historical sites being appropriated by a body representing English heritage, beneath a banner based on the red-and-white "butcher's apron" of England.

Up to now, EH have denied that a problem exists -- dismissing protestors as cranks, feigning not to understand their arguments, and on occasion causing them to be prosecuted, fined, and threatened with imprisonment.

Now at last EH have come clean: the cultural imperialism is plain for all to see. Their frankness, at least, is to be applauded.
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