THE SAGE OF SENNEN SPEAKS

Tens of thousands of happy holidaymakers visit Sennen beach each year. They are entranced by its sparkling, shimmering beauty and, as they relax and play on its pure white sands, the cares of daily life simply slip away from their consciousness.

As they frolic in the sea or just lie there letting the sun gently tan their revealed adiposity, little do they realise that they are within a mere hundred yards or so of one of the greatest sages to walk this earth, former postman A.C.D.C. “Jimmy” Jago (103).

Since taking early retirement from the Post Office at just 28 years of age, Jimmy has not moved from the sumptuously appointed beach hut he built himself all those decades ago. In his seclusion, he has devoted himself entirely to scaling the heights and plunging the depths of philosophical contemplations and exploration.

Naturally, the great and the good have sought his counsel and over the years Mohandas Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, the great Billy Spargo himself and a host of other luminaries have taken the well-trodden path to his door.

The Duke of Cornwall, Seine Königliche Hoheit Karl von Sachsen-Coburg und Gotha together with his old flame and new wife Kamillentee, and accompanied by his interpreter Matthias Wolfenbüttel, even has a regular monthly meeting with Jimmy to seek his advice on matters as diverse as architecture, growing cabbages as well as the royal predilection for wearing skirts.

So successful has Jimmy been in counselling on this delicate matter that Karl is now happy to be seen wearing his skirts in public. This newly found freedom has done wonders for the royal marriage, as can be seen from the accompanying happy snap.

The Roundup has visited Jimmy in his hut – or ‘hutment’ as he prefers to call it - to seek his views on the matters of the day. The Sage is pictured on the left wearing the typically cheerful and friendly mien, which reflects the still oceans of inner calm within. For those who do not know him, the Sage speaks only in verse.

Roundup: Your Eminence, do you have any comment on the recent political goings-on in the neighbouring UK?

Jago: The sky grows dark, as does the sea
‘T’is the black black influence of the BNP.
Led by a gryphon and followed by mules
The Bleddy Nazi Party are dangerous fools.

Roundup: Thank you for that insight, Your Holiness. Do you have any comment on the shenanigans in Westminster?

Jago: Drunk on power, but blind with fear
Gordon’s end is very near.
MPs feast on lush expenses
Too far now for mending fences.
London’s power now drains anew
To Edinburgh, Cardiff and Truro too.
Relubbus now will seize the day
And lead the world in Spargo’s way!

At this point, the penetrating pungent smell of home-made goat and nettle soup began wafting in from the cavernous kitchens at the back of the hut, indicating that it was time for the great man’s daily meal.

Bowing low, we reversed from the presence with repeated outpourings of grateful thanks and emerged, much refreshed, once more in the world of ordinary man.