SMALL ADS AND LOCAL BUSINESS CLASSIFIEDS

SMALL ADS

Home-made breast milk pump, in polished walnut finish, adjustable to fit like a glove – mains powered, but works well off car battery when out and about. At just £79.99 this is a bargain for such workmanship. Box 4567

Four East German electric plugs – just 17 pence each!! Box 5821

Size 24 basque in plastique and leatherette with Leopard skin effect. Buy this for her and watch her become a wild cat!! Just £35. Box 5209

Breeding pair of fighting budgies (“Budge and Smudge”) from Pendeen. This pair has produced a long line of champions in the West Penwith Killer Budgie competition. Old age and ill health oblige owner to reluctantly part with these two – for bargain price of just £12,500. Box 6721

Consignment of 600 Rumanian toothbrushes made with real hedgehog prickles. This is a truly unusual and, in Cornwall, unique acquisition possibility. £10 the lot. Box 4598

Three gent’s trouser belts in brown leather to suit waist size 58”. Buckle gone on two of them so all three available at special reduced price of only £14.50. Box 6923

Mahogony spittoon – never been emptied - an adornment for any home. £7.50. Box 2397

Cigarette (and cigar) butts thrown away by the stars and the famous. Unique collection lovingly gathered over the years by avid collector (my uncle – now deceased). Collection includes exhibits from Churchill, the Queen, Adolf Hitler, Caesar Augustus, Marilyn Monroe, Chiang Kai Shek, Dave Allen, King Henry VII, William the Conqueror and Sooty. £23,000. Box 4571

Fifteenth Century Television set. Looks very old and an adornment and talking point for any home. £2,300. Box 4923

Ladies never be caught short again! Special ‘weak bladder’ ladies’ handbag. Home-made for my wife. Now she is sadly gone and some other lady with wetting problems can benefit. Willy P. Box 6109


LOCAL BUSINESS CLASSIFIEDS

Pendrewartha’s for swimming pool maintenance, cesspool emptying and septic tank clearance. Don’t worry, we do change the hoses according to the job we are doing!!!
Tel Nancledra 459873

PC problems? We can help you out. Fast and friendly service with no call out charge. Just call Nigel and Kevin at the Mousehole Nude PC surgery. £29 per hour. 15% discount for nudists. Tel Mousehole 567832.

Say Goodbye to Accounting headaches! Call Narcus Prig at Newlyn Abacus and SlideRule and “we’ll turn they losses into profits!” £400 per hour. Tel Newlyn 459285

Trendy Wendy the trouser specialist. “ I’ll take them in, let them down and patch them up!” My ‘While you wait’ service is famous throughout St Just, particularly with the over eighties. Now offering exclusive washing and pressing service whilst you are wearing the clothes!! Tel St Just 509345

Pssst! Can you smell ‘Old people’? If you have old people living with you, then relax, because they don’t need to smell. Just send them to ‘Clemo’s Caustic Washing’ and they’ll never smell bad again. Same process available for use in ‘final preparation’ at any good undertaker’s. Tel Tremethick Cross 927574

Does you wife talk too much? Is life just a nag, nag, nag? Just buy Qwenty Penhaligon’s Hypnosis kit for £25 and you can stop her talking – whenever you like. Just one of the bargains available at Hendra’s Home Improvements Tel Penzance 673412

Never buy a carpet again! Jimmy Jago ‘the Tarmac man' will tarmac the inside of your home. Standard large (11ft by 6ft) front room only £500. This is a one-off cost as you will never need buy a carpet again!! Using special ‘blast-on’ technique, I can also cover your walls and ceilings, so you need never paint again!! Tel Heamoor 582301

Ladies! Relax in the unusual comfort of wicker basket ware lingerie – made and fitted for you by master Wicker-Weaver Madron Trembath. Tel Nanjizel 678423

False teeth handcrafted for you from Balsa wood – be the envy of all your friends! Available in waxed, lacquered or ‘natural’ finish. From Andrewartha’s 'Ardware Tel Botallack 657234