GREY-SQUIRREL-CHESS INVENTOR COMMUTES FROM TANZANIA!

Ben Godrevy-Baragwanath (known as BGB), the mysterious 64-year-old Cornish recluse and inventor, who over the years has confounded the public with the brilliance of his inventions and the outlandishness of his eccentricity, has once more hit the headlines.

Pictured on the left is BGB's holiday home in plush Kisutu Street in far-off Dar es Salaam. This traditional Tanzanian abode is a conscious tribute to local building techniques. However, we are also assured that the habitation lacks for nothing in terms of western standards of comfort, since it benefits from not just one, but two lean-tos, ingeniously set at some distance from one another so that simultaneous occupation will not result in any noisy embarrassments that might deter either occupant from prosecuting the business in hand.

What has mystified BGB-watchers for some time is just how he manages to appear waving before the webcam next to his Tanzanian residence before popping up only minutes later in front of his mansion in fashionable Boswedden Lane in Relubbus.

Now we can reveal the almost unbelievable solution to this puzzle. BGB has explained to the Roundup that he is COMMUTING between Dar es Salaam and Relubbus, using a dematerialisation and materialisation device, which he calls his "Redar", "cos I duh use'n t' get from Relubbus to Dar es Salaam an' back!"

BGB is shown here on the left, wearing a part of the outfit that enables him to "disappear" from one place and "appear" in the other.

Known to the Relubbus and world public as an incredible inventor (he devised, for instance, slug-writing* and grey-squirrel chess**, to name but two of his peculiar, yet fascinating, offerings to the world), he now seems to have surpassed himself by inventing a technology which could put all of the world's airlines out of business overnight. However, the scientific genius has in this, as on previous occasions, absolutely no interest in the business exploitation of his stunning invention.

*Slug-writing involves hypnotising slugs and giving them a secret message, which then emerges slowly in their silver getaway trail.
** The now hugely popular grey-squirrel chess involves the use of "neutralised" and suitably decorated live squirrels as chess pieces, which are then vaporised, instead of removed, in the course of play.
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