SIR FRED TO LIVE IN HELFORD

Sources close to Sir Fred Goodwin (left) the much-vilified former CEO of the Royal Bank of Scotland, say that he is to move to the village of Helford, on the south-east Lizard peninsula.

Goodwin, probably the most hated man in Britain, is seen by most people as the archetype of the "fat cat" bank bosses who walked away with millions in pensions and bonuses after driving their institutions to the edge of bankruptcy -- and sometimes beyond.

While billions of taxpayers' money were spent in propping up the failing banks, and ordinary bank employees were made redundant or saw their own pension funds halved in value, Sir Fred and his ilk gracefully departed the scene to enjoy a champagne lifestyle.

One has to have some sympathy for Sir Fred, though. It can't be much fun being the most hated man in Britain. Recently his house and car were vandalised. It's rumoured that he's taken to wearing a disguise on the rare occasions that he ventures outside.

So why is Sir Fred moving to Helford (shown on the left)? Our source said that "he wants to live among like-minded people, somewhere where he doesn't feel out of place".

Recently Helford attracted national attention when the so-called "Helford Village Society", which is dominated by second-home owners who rarely visit the village, objected to local fishermen's plans to build a jetty at which to land their catches.

Although plans for the new jetty were approved by the district council almost two years ago -- to the satisfaction of local conservation bodies -- they are on hold because members of the Village Society have forced a judicial review of the council’s decision. It will cost the council a considerable amount of money to put their case and local council tax payers will have to foot the bill.

Our informant is convinced that Sir Fred will feel at home in Helford. He told us: "Fred will probably become a leading light in the Village Society. They're his kind of people. And they'll love him."

Iggy Polglaze, owner of the local shop, is delighted that Sir Fred is moving to the village. "This'll definitely push up the tripper numbers. Everyone 'll want to come an' 'av a go at Sir Fred. We're gettin' in a new line in half-bricks,an' we expect to make a bomb!"