THE RETURN OF BRETON MYSTIC MAURICE LABALGE!

YOUR STARS

with Breton mystic Maurice Labalge 

He is the mystic who knows what will come
For you, for your neighbour, for everyone!

Aries This month will be better, though not good. There will be a death in the family, but you feel well rid of them. A small (£10) lottery win for you will brighten things up.

Taurus Returning your books to the library, you will bump into Mrs Hollis and have a pleasant natter about this and that. While this is happening, someone will attempt to steal her purse. Armed with the information from this column, you will put a stop to that.

Gemini You will have a wet dream and feel a little embarrassed about it. However, this is just a phase and you will soon get over it, particularly if you are female.

Cancer Wishing to change channels on the television, you will decide not to do so by getting up and walking to the set to press the requisite buttons. Instead, you will use a device called a remote control, which will enable you to make all desired changes without leaving your seat.

Leo You will go for an interesting charabanc ride to Marazion. During this ride, you will see a peacock flying alongside you. At your destination, the peacock will await you. You will discover that it can talk and it will tell you secrets about members of the town council. You can then blackmail them.

Virgo You will walk past a stranger today. You will never know what changes he might have brought to your life, had you only stopped to talk.

Libra Whilst at the hairdresser’s, you will meet other women having their hair done. In talking to them, you will hear about Diane Liddicoat’s affair with the Co-op milkman. You will wonder why the story seems familiar. It is only on the way home on the bus that you remember the words from this column.

Scorpio You have offered to baby-sit for your daughter for three days. Unfortunately, your husband has foolishly arranged for you both to drive via the tunnel for a day’s shopping in France on the third of those three days. Fortunately, this column gives you sufficient advance warning of this near-calamity to do something about it.

Sagittarius Those very weird dreams you used to get about intimacies with groups of meerkats are back again with a vengeance. You are strongly counselled to avoid the Zoo.

Capricorn You are coming up for retirement now and, quite frankly, you have never felt happier. At long last, the time is yours to call your own. You can do anything you like. However, you had better hurry up, as extreme health problems are on the way.

Aquarius You will cut the grass this week and intend to cut the hedge. However, whilst up the ladder you will lean back too much to follow an attractive young lady with your eyes, causing you to overbalance and fall badly, breaking your wrist and narrowly missing puncturing your lungs with the shears.

Pisces Very unusually for this time of year, there will be very bad hailstorms, which could do some damage to the young plants in the garden. Warned by this column, you can transfer the tenderest specimens to the greenhouse for a while. Mrs Roskilly pops around for a chat as she does every Tuesday.