With a new format for our famous Lonely Hearts Section.!!!
Rodney Tregear, a 34 year old bachelor, who lives in the conservatory of his remarried sister's house at Rosudgeon, has volunteered to run the Roundup's new Lonely Hearts Section.
As he says, "I bin 'ppylin' fer maids 'ere fer years and I duh knaw pzackly what people duh need to knaw. I set 'n up 'ere neow proper fer other people to use like."
The following young folk are looking for love and are hopjng that when you see their picture and read their words according to Rodney's inspired new format, you will want to find out more......
Nehm: Jasper Nancarrow
'Ow old izza: 29
Zatooa (as in "Wherza too ah?"): Ovver Marazion wi' Ma'. Faither passed on years ago.
Dooa: (as in Wassadooa?"): Fart Collector fer the council
Skills: 'Andy with a bicycle repair kit and duh play armonikee sum luvely!
Lookin' fer: ''Ansome Cornish maid 'tween 16 and 108, what duh mek a proper pasty like Ma do. I'm ptiklar 'bout my 'air and would like fer she to be 'airdresser too, if possible. - maybe one o' they li'l maids from Shelley's up St Just.. Ma would like gat too. I duh clect dead seabirds and would luv to learm ow to stuff ovun proper - specially the older wans, what are neow 6 year old and startin' to go off ( I got 432 out in the shed!!)"
Nehm: Mavis Tink
'Ow old izza: 17
Zatooa: Sancreed
Dooa: Nothin yet. Lookin to become a mawther after Mr Addicoat's speshul afterskool lessuns wot I ad up t' Chrismas.
Skills: Ebbent got too many o they yet, but I'm only young yet
Lookin' fer: "A nice man wi money to take care of me and the baby w'as on the way. I duh dearly love kiddies and duh want t' ave lots more. My dream is tuh 'ave a professionul usbent like a doctor err a teacher err sumin like gat. 'Ow ever 's long as ee's young enuff t' ave kiddies, 's alright wi me. Next month is bath month and that would be a nice time fer 'opeful men to come roun 'ere, speshully as I am 'opin' tuh gett new underwear then too, which I shall also wear as a blushin bride."
Nehm: Horton Kneebone
'Ow old izza: 38
Zatooa: Dolphin Inn, Newlyn
Dooa: Las' remaining artist o' the Newlyn School. I duh paint and I duh get a bit pissed up neow an again, but `I duh paint sum lovely. Las' year I sold 'nuff pictures to keep me in beer fer the rest o'the year.
Skills: Paintin' o' course an' also decoratin' if I really 'ave to.
Lookin fer: "I duh ideally wunt to 'ave a relationship wi' that maid oo knocked me ovver in Warrens las' week. She was sum proper, boy - big girl! But anyone, what duh look like she, 's alright wi' me. She'd look like Dawn French do, 'cept not so pretty and maybe coupla sizes bigger. I bleeve she said she' d work down Penlowarth."
'Ow old izza: young 62
Zatooa: Own caravan up Scorrier
Dooa: I'm a freelance brain surgeon and carpet fitter. Turn me 'and to anythin', I can.
Skills: Scorrier record-holder for not going to toilet fer the longest (15 days - see photo!)
Lookin' fer: "Young lady 'oo will appreciate self-made young man o' means. I duh share my 'ome wi my two older brothers, so would like a maid oo won't mind squeezin'up a bit."
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