RSPCA SEEKS GOOD HOME FOR ABANDONED CAT

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The Relubbus Society for the Promotion of Charity towards Animals (RSPCA) is seeking a good home for poor abandoned feline, "Claws", pictured here on the left.

Claws is unusually large for a domestic cat, being 3-and-a-half feet tall and weighing in at 7 stone. Also unusually for a domestic cat, he roars instead of miaows.

Claws has a good appetite and will happily put away one small pig or a pet labrador per day. He likes them served live.

Although purchased as a surprise Christmas present for the children of a Relubbus family who seek no publicity, Claws was turfed out on the day after Boxing Day, after killing and eating the visiting Granny during her sleep.

It is probably for the best if Claws does not go to a home with children, since he might be tempted too much by the sight of shrill excitable snacks running up and down around him.

We are convinced that Claws is lovable at heart, but would suggest that new owners wear protective clothing and do not turn their backs on him. We would suggest that, at night, Claws is kept in his re-inforced steel cage (which we will supply). During the day, Claws can roam like any other cat, although he should not be let off his 7 foot steel leash.

Interested cat lovers should contact the RSPCA at Boswedden Lane on 789 345.