MILLENIUM DOME SOLD TO RELUBBUS

GRUC CHAIRMAN BILLY SPARGO ACQUIRES SURPLUS GOVERNMENT STOCK
Latest report from our roving reporter Horton Tregarthen

Greater Relubbus Urban Council (GRUC) Chairman Billy Spargo flew into the recently completed Terminal 5 at Relubbus International Airport yesterday with some exciting news.

Speaking from the steps of the Council's Air Force 1, he told the assembled crowd of reporters that, while on holiday up London, he had wandered down Petticoat Lane and found that Charlie Tresidder (a quondam resident of Goldsithney) was selling off the O2 Arena (formerly known as the Millennium Dome), with the London Eye thrown in free.

Billy, fortuitously having the Council's petty cash box in his environmentally-friendly Kwop shopping bag, decided that the spare cash he had brought for "expenses" could be used to benefit the Council by buying the Dome.

Dome ready to be towed by tug around to Relubbus

After handing over £3. 17s. 6d to Charlie (and getting a receipt, to comply with the Council's standing orders), he telephoned his niece, local reporter Tryphena Spargo-Spargo, who passed the inside story on to the Roundup.

"'Ere", he told her, "that bleddy tent thing they cain't find a use fer up Lundun will come in 'andy fer putting over our new caravans on Mount Relubbus when it d git a bit windy."

The Eye is proving a little difficult to get back to Relubbus, so Billy is going to ring the NT and see if they will buy it for the new Trengwainton Wildlife Park.

He reckons they "smart buggers up there will be able to think of a way to raffle it off for their funds. But we d' think any nervous members can use it if they're a bit frightened of the new setup with all they there wild animals."