TREMETHICK BLASTS UNITARY AUTHORITY! ROUNDUP UNCOVERS SAD TRUTH ABOUT CALL CENTRE!!

Professor Tristan Tremethick (87) President of the Relubbus Institute for the Study of Democracy and Contemporary Society has spoken out in damning terms about the introduction of the Unitary Authority in Cornwall.

He describes the advent of the Authority as “another sorry milestone step down the sad trail of the complete disappearance of Cornish identity”.

Tremethick, a Prospidnick-born academic of deservedly high international repute, has always been noted in the past for the moderate expression of his globally valued points of view.

However, now he says, ”I am too old to bother to dress my views in the decent clothing of moderate speech. The time for that is, passed.

Now it is time for those views to be seen naked and nude – for them to be heard loud and clear, for I sound the bell of the very disappearance of the Cornish! Kevin Lavery heralds Cornwall’s slavery”.

Tremethick condemns the coming of the authority and turns the full power of his formidable analytical and prophetic mind to where its introduction will lead us.

He avers that others apart from the Cornish population (who voted clearly for retention of the district councils) have determined that the population of Cornwall does not need to be heard. Those others have also determined that the needs of Cornwall can be better met by just one council.

So, he concludes, the will of the Cornish people was ignored. So, he finds, there was no democracy in this big decision. Where the will of the people is ignored, you have dictatorship. Where you have the voiceless governed by dictators, you have slavery.

He further points out that not only does this new governmental arrangement lack democratic foundation, it also lacks functional effectiveness. The Council becomes physically far more remote from the people it “serves”.

The Roundup has taken the lead from Professor Tremethick and asked the new Council whether it is not more remote from the people of Cornwall than were the District Councils, which made district administration answerable to the people of the district.

The new Unitary Authority has declared that this remoteness will simply not occur.

Its new spokesman (pictured left) I M Sawson (42) imported from Buckinghamshire on a salary of £80,000 stated, “We are going to introduce a 24 hour call centre to deal with any queries anyone may have about any of the workings of the new council. Their calls will naturally be very important to us.”

When pressed several times to reveal in which part of Cornwall the call centre would be, the small-voiced response came back from Mr Sawson that the call centre was being set up in Bangalore in India ‘to save Cornish people money’.

All two of the staff at the call centre (pictured left) would be fully trained in the ways of the Cornish, Mr Sawson assured us.

Asked whether the calls would cost any more than a local call, Mr Sawson snorted and laughed derisively, pointing out that a call to India could hardly be classed as a local call.

He stated that calls would be charged at no more than £2.37 per minute and that keeping waiting times below 20 minutes would be a high priority during the first five years of operation. He further added that the Council was fully aware that some people in Cornwall would like to speak a language other than English and gleefully pointed out that now they could try out their Hindi.

For his part, Professor Tremethick sees further dark developments following on from the introduction of the Unitary authority. He says

“When the nationhood of Cornwall is ignored in this manner, it will only be a matter of time until Cornwall is subsumed into a greater Corn-Devonwall in the interests of containing costs and of providing a better service to the consumer. The Council would then be located in Exeter.

Thereafter, it is a matter of yet a little more time and then we shall even see Corn-Devonwall subsumed into a yet greater unit called Swengland to be ruled from Bristol.”

Tremethick states that no one can stop this inevitable outcome – no one, that is, except the people of Cornwall, if they develop a strong enough will and a loud enough voice.